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    APRIL

          21
          想了很久 盘算了很久
          终于做了决定
          诱惑很大 可以一步到位 仅仅需要再忍一年
          可我的生命里有多少个一年
          而用这一年换取的是不是本该属于我的一生
          我都不能确定
          前天早饭老爸说的话
          我知道 他可能为此考虑了一晚
          让我感动 羞愧
          现在缺少的只是自己...
          我不要用一年去赌注不可知的未来
          因为我有理想
          对 因为我有自己的理想
          我可以成为他们的骄傲
     
          04
          都说幸福的人不写字
          可是 我只是不敢 不想 面对
          天天提醒自己 要理智 要勇敢 不能感情用事 不能那么多愁善感
       
          清明节
          很久没跟老爸一起去看看奶奶
          走在路上酸不留揪
          慢慢拉在后面
          我不知道为什么朱自清爸爸的背影那么深入人心
          可是我的爸爸的背影总是那么雄赳赳气昂昂
          八十岁的时候还是会这样的吧
          于是我走到前面 我想他会怎么想呢
          他会想当年那个在他前面的欢呼雀跃的小不点长成大姑娘了嘛?
          他能感觉到我的成熟了嘛 他能知道我的想法嘛
          他能知道他的小女儿是多么需要他多么爱他嘛
          他能知道那个不能如愿成为他的骄傲的小女儿的悲哀嘛
     
          觉得很对不起 丢了自己那么久....
        

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